Chief, Don't Slap Me in the Face

Starting with a little loli, how am I supposed to win? At least give me a dog, right? Even a lame one would do! What? The Overlord Tower is refreshed? Have to destroy the tower? Get out, don't bother me! I, a perfectly good female hero, how did I become a secretary? It's okay, wait for a rainy day and the master falls to his death, and we'll be free! Best in the field? Doesn't exist! What about the one vs five? What about the god-tier equipment? Don't you know? Jungling is impossible, won't jungle in this life, it's good to live off handouts and wait to die, yeah